Who I Am

Today I realized that I've been striving to attain something that is already mine to own.

I've been trying to BECOME a child of God, to BECOME worthy enough to be proud of by my Father in heaven.

I've been struggling to become a man of God, and I've felt like I'm failing.

Then Jesus spoke to me. He told me that i don't have to earn it, that I don't have to TRY to be a true man of God. I AM a man of God. I AM a child of God. This is not something that i need to earn. It's who I am already. A man after God's heart.

And yet, for some reason, I still feel like I need to grow more to somehow earn that title. I feel like I need to do more, to be more, as if I can somehow better myself in my Father's eyes.

I can't. Not only that, but I don't have to. I'm already there.

I've found myself doing things for God, like trying to better myself and grow and serve, and those are all necessary. But my motivation is wrong. Was wrong.

I was motivated by my fear that I wasn't good enough or strong enough or wise enough. That is what pushed me to be better.

Because, to be quite honest, I don't feel like I measure up. To other people and to what I think are God's expectations of me.

That's the best part about grace. I can't measure up. That's where grace steps in.

I don't have to measure up. We as God's children aren't called to measure up. We are called to live righteous and holy lives and lives of purity. But we don't have to earn God's acceptance. We already have it. I already have it. He cannot be more proud of me, of us, than He already is.

This knowledge sets me free. My motivation is no longer to be better because I'm not good enough. My motivation is to be better, to live taller, to accept grace, because God already takes pride in me and is pleased with me.

With us.

We have nothing to earn, but everything to gain.