Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Why do I Believe?

A few weeks ago I was sitting with a homeless man that happened to be an atheist. We got into a discussion about it of course, as these people love to talk religion. We shifted from topic to topic, anything from homosexuality to miracles to heaven. And then he asked me something that really stopped me.

"So why? Why do you believe in God? Why do you believe in a God that can do miracles?"

I was stunned. Why couldn't I answer?

My mind went blank. I stuttered and stumbled over my words for a while, then finally admitted that I wasn't sure why.

WHAT??

I've been in church since I was 5! How could I not come up with an answer for this man?

I felt like a failure of a Christian. Like I let God down.

And the funny thing? I know why I love Him. In my heart. But I couldn't think of a way to explain it to him. An atheist.

I answered that way because I wanted to be honest. I didn't want to start speaking Christian-ese, making up something that sounds super-spiritual and flowery. So I said I didn't completely know. He seemed to respect this somehow.

It's plagued me for days, and maybe this seems like a very basic problem with a extremely solution, but I wanted to find out why I, personally, believe in God. A God of miracles.

Again, I know why I do in my heart. Very clearly. But I needed a way to explain with words what was in my heart, in a way that would make sense to him.

Yesterday it hit me.

I believe in God......

Because He believes in me. He believed in me first.

He believes in me!

Everyone in this world can identify with that statement.

Why?

Because everyone needs to be believed in. Everyone wants someone to believe in them, to tell them that they have what it takes, to tell them that they are worth more than they think.

This is why I believe in God. Because He believes in me.

This is my confession of faith. I believe in God and I believe that He does miracles.

And if I see this man again? I'm gonna tell him. Because I am not ashamed.

My Father believes in me.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

" I want to come closer, but you are so distant. Lately your thoughts are so far. And I want to show you all that you're missing. I'll meet you right where you are." Then the chorus: " O love, I've always known you and O love, you've always been mine. O love, I'm only asking you for your life."
This is the sound of my Savior, the love of my life, the one who gave everything for me. The one who opened my eyes to wonder. And most amazing of all? He LONGS for me. Me! The broken, dirty, foolish human being that I am. He doesn't see that. All he sees is love. And me?

I'm too busy.

He desperately longs for me and tries to draw my attention to him. He calls me. He desires me.

And I'm too busy.

My thoughts are far from him. He gave his life and I barely take the time. He tries to show me the things that I'm missing, the miracles and splendor!

And I'm too busy. Some days I barely think about him. I walk around without even noticing his creation. I don't read his Word. I don't ask for miracles.

I'm too busy. Busy with life. Busy with homework. Busy with concerns and worries. Busy with anything BUT what i should be busy with. That being my relationship with Him.

Why don't I see it?

Why do I let this pass me by all the time??

He simply wants ME.

He's willing to meet me right where I am, in the midst of all my imperfections and failures. He doesn't see it. All he sees is me. All he wants is me.

And me?

I don't even notice.

He knows that I can't do it alone. He offers His hand to help.

And I don't take it. I'm too concerned with other things. And all He wants is me!!

He wants to come closer and I keep moving away. And I'm not even trying to. I just don't take the time to notice that I've strayed from Him. Until I'm too far. He wants to draw close to me, to hold me and whisper things to me, to show me what I've never seen before. But my mind is distant, on other things, in other places. And yet the amazing thing?

He never stops:) He never gives up on me.

Even when I would've given up on myself, He doesn't. Won't ever. I don't deserve this kind of love. And that's the beauty of it.

It doesn't matter.

He doesn't care.

He runs to me.

Every time I need HIm.

He meets me right where I am.

And then I stray again. I fail to notice Him again. I start running around again, getting distracted.

And He?

He patiently waits for me. Always waiting.

How can I be so selfish not to notice? How can I be so blind? When will I finally learn to turn to Him everyday? When will I stop getting lost? When will I finally come to a place where I have to admit my need for Him everyday?