I feel like I've done too many things to return, to be whole again.
I lack the confidence to believe that I can overcome the things that plague me, both from the past and in the present.
Sometimes I feel like I'll never be complete again because of things I've said and done, like I won't be able to be all I'm meant to be because of how I've wandered.
It's in this moment when I hear this:
"Oh my child. Do you still not understand? My love accomplishes everything. You have confidence because I gave it to you by defeating every earthly power and reminding you that if I am for you, no one can be against you. My love and healing are complete. I can make you into what you've longed to be for so long, what I'VE wanted you to be for so long. Don't despair. You may have gone far from Me but I was never far from you. You can return to complete purity and wholeness and wisdom and healing. Just let me help you. Don't turn away in disappointment or shame. Let me see your face. Look into my eyes and see that you are LOVED. Welcome home."
And all of a sudden.....I dare to hope. I dare to believe that no matter how many times I've misrepresented my faith, no matter how many times I've sinned, no matter how many times I've strayed into deception and wrong thinking, or given up on myself, I can still be whole again.
No matter what my mind is telling me, I can come back. ALL the way back. Completely righteous and justified.
Everything from before forgotten. Just like that.
Now I'm free. I feel like I should have to do something else, like it's too easy, but I don't. I just need to accept it, accept the grace. It's difficult to believe that return to the exact spot that i strayed from and simply keep walking from there but I can.
We can.
Simple concept? Yes. Easy to learn? No.
I'm trying to get into my heart, not just leave it in my head.
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