Love

What is love?

If I define love as being patient and kind, not envious and not boastful, not proud and not rude, not self-seeking, then I fail at love.

I'm not very patient. I'm kind but not enough. I'm envious and boastful. I'm proud and I'm rude. I'm also self-seeking.

Maybe I'm being too hard on myself.

These things are all human nature after all.

But I'm still am not happy with where I am.

After reading Song of Solomon, where i believe love is portrayed in it's purest form, an intense desire was birthed in me.

I want to love like that. I want to love someone like that. I want to cherish someone like that. To make her everything to me.

I want to be everything love is. Unselfish and kind. Un-envious and humble. Ever patient and not arrogant. And I'm not gonna stop till I get there.

Will I ever completely achieve that? No. I'm as imperfect as a human can be.

But i'm gonna get as close as I can. I'm gonna work at it for the rest of my life. It is attainable.

I want to love a woman the way Christ loves her. To give her everything I am.

To tell her everyday how beautiful she is and how much I love her.

To let her know that I value her over any other person or thing in this world.

I can be that. Not because I'm strong enough. But because God is strong enough and His power is made perfect in my weakness.

His power ought to be pretty perfect by now then haha.

I want my life to be about love. Love for her, love for my Savior, love for the beautiful people in this world. Even love for myself.

I don't mean being in love with myself. I mean that rather than hate myself for my imperfections.

Love is a journey.

I wanna get walking.

I also want to BE loved that way. I want to be everything to her. I want to be her strength. I want to make her laugh all the time. I want her to see me the way God sees me. I want to be the only one for her. I want to be that knight.

All these things I've mentioned don't even really come close to describing how I feel but it's a piece. I don't want to simply KNOW what true love is. I want to BE what true love is.