The Storm

Often times, when talking about the storms in our lives, we refer to the things happening outside of us, the things happening in our lives that are out of our control.

The storm I face is not this kind. The storm I'm facing is inside of me.

I'm in a fight against myself and the battle is raging.

The fight is between me and myself.

It's a struggle between the man that struggles to control emotions and habits and lacks discipline in many ways and the man that burns for the love of Christ to fall on himself and on his school.

A struggle between the man who's feelings and judgements are like a roller coaster and the man that continues to grow closer to Christ everyday and feels the growth and punishment from the Father.

It's a fight between the man that thinks only of himself and the man that knows he can be so much more because God has dreamed of who he can be.

My determination is to be that man. The man that God has always known I can be. The man that has mastery over himself and is strong in battle. Not in my strength, which fails time after time, but in his.

I've been called to so much. God is asking if I'm going to step up.

I could say no. It's my choice. But I can't stand to live that way. I want to live free. And God is making it happen.

Sometimes I think to myself that often I'm like the double-minded man in James 1. That I often float around between confidence and lack thereof, between happiness and despair, between loving myself and hating myself.

The time for that to end is now. It's gone on long enough and it's time to take care of business.

This storm is the effect of that resistance. My old self doesn't appreciate the fight.

But I've got so much ahead of me. I'm ready to step into it. It's about leaving the person I used to be behind me in the pursuit of all God has for me.

1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3

Enough waiting to do what needs to be done. It's time for change.

It's been happening for months. It's just coming to a head and a crossroads. I'm taking the narrow way.

Watch out evil. I'm stepping up.

I want to be feared by the darkness.

The Prodigal Son

Sometimes I feel like I've wandered so far from God that I can't get all the way back.



I feel like I've done too many things to return, to be whole again.



I lack the confidence to believe that I can overcome the things that plague me, both from the past and in the present.



Sometimes I feel like I'll never be complete again because of things I've said and done, like I won't be able to be all I'm meant to be because of how I've wandered.



It's in this moment when I hear this:



"Oh my child. Do you still not understand? My love accomplishes everything. You have confidence because I gave it to you by defeating every earthly power and reminding you that if I am for you, no one can be against you. My love and healing are complete. I can make you into what you've longed to be for so long, what I'VE wanted you to be for so long. Don't despair. You may have gone far from Me but I was never far from you. You can return to complete purity and wholeness and wisdom and healing. Just let me help you. Don't turn away in disappointment or shame. Let me see your face. Look into my eyes and see that you are LOVED. Welcome home."



And all of a sudden.....I dare to hope. I dare to believe that no matter how many times I've misrepresented my faith, no matter how many times I've sinned, no matter how many times I've strayed into deception and wrong thinking, or given up on myself, I can still be whole again.

No matter what my mind is telling me, I can come back. ALL the way back. Completely righteous and justified.



Everything from before forgotten. Just like that.


Now I'm free. I feel like I should have to do something else, like it's too easy, but I don't. I just need to accept it, accept the grace. It's difficult to believe that return to the exact spot that i strayed from and simply keep walking from there but I can.

We can.

Simple concept? Yes. Easy to learn? No.

I'm trying to get into my heart, not just leave it in my head.

Who I Am cont.

"We don't serve God to gain His acceptance; we are accepted, so we serve God. We don't follow Him to be loved; we are loved, so we follow Him."

"It is not what we do that determines who we are; it is who we are that determines what we do."

1 John 3:2 - "Beloved, now we are children of God."

Who I Am

Today I realized that I've been striving to attain something that is already mine to own.

I've been trying to BECOME a child of God, to BECOME worthy enough to be proud of by my Father in heaven.

I've been struggling to become a man of God, and I've felt like I'm failing.

Then Jesus spoke to me. He told me that i don't have to earn it, that I don't have to TRY to be a true man of God. I AM a man of God. I AM a child of God. This is not something that i need to earn. It's who I am already. A man after God's heart.

And yet, for some reason, I still feel like I need to grow more to somehow earn that title. I feel like I need to do more, to be more, as if I can somehow better myself in my Father's eyes.

I can't. Not only that, but I don't have to. I'm already there.

I've found myself doing things for God, like trying to better myself and grow and serve, and those are all necessary. But my motivation is wrong. Was wrong.

I was motivated by my fear that I wasn't good enough or strong enough or wise enough. That is what pushed me to be better.

Because, to be quite honest, I don't feel like I measure up. To other people and to what I think are God's expectations of me.

That's the best part about grace. I can't measure up. That's where grace steps in.

I don't have to measure up. We as God's children aren't called to measure up. We are called to live righteous and holy lives and lives of purity. But we don't have to earn God's acceptance. We already have it. I already have it. He cannot be more proud of me, of us, than He already is.

This knowledge sets me free. My motivation is no longer to be better because I'm not good enough. My motivation is to be better, to live taller, to accept grace, because God already takes pride in me and is pleased with me.

With us.

We have nothing to earn, but everything to gain.

I

I am not simply a forgiven sinner, someone that will never be able to overcome. I am a redeemed saint. The term sinner no longer applies to me, because by the grace of God I have been made righteous. I do sin. But i'm a sinner no longer. I've been redeemed.

The Time is Now

I was sitting in my apartment reading my Bible when God spoke to me. He only said three words.

Opportunity is knocking.

Opportunity is knocking on our door. We of this generation have a chance to change the world like never before; something is happening. There is an undercurrent swirling just out of sight under the surface of the water but it's rising. Something is coming, and we need to be ready.

There is a window of opportunity that has not in the past been open, but it's opening now.

I read three verses: Galations 6:9-10, Ephesians 5:14-16, and Colossians 4:5. These verses all say the same thing and that is that are to make the most of every opportunity, for the days are evil.

I feel something happening, like a shift in the spiritual world. The tide is turning. We as Christians have struggled in recent history to make immediate lasting impact on the people around us, to turn the world upside-down like the apostles did, but that is becoming a thing of the past because something new is coming and it's BIG. It's new revelations; it's a destruction of previously assumed ideas and a birth of new ideas, of truth. God said, "See! I make all things new!" and that is what's happening, but in larger measure.

We as people are going to discover what is and what isn't.

But the catch is this: it's up to us. If we don't usher in this new kingdom of God on earth, it won't happen, because the LORD is looking for workers to harvest the fields. The crops will not harvest themselves.

Now the Lord's will WILL be accomplished, whether by our work or someone else's, but if we want this wave to sweep through our world like never before then now is the time.

Do we want to miss out on what God is doing? Do we want to miss the opportunity to be a part of something that this world has NEVER seen before?

This isn't like giving to a charity or radio station. We can't say," Well, someone else will give."

This is our time, our chance, to shake the world.

Something is coming. I feel it in my heart and gut and Spirit that something HUGE is happening.

Something is gonna break.

The word of the day is opportunity.

And it's ours for the taking.

Let's not be caught unprepared.

Let's get in the game.

Defense?

I was shocked to discover that no where in the Bible are we commanded to defend the Gospel.

No where.

Wait. Is that right? Aren't we supposed to defend what is most precious to us?

Then I had a thought.

This Gospel speaks for itself. We don't need to defend it. It's flawless. It has no weaknesses.

So why would we feel like we have to defend it?

Because we've bought in to the idea that we need to sell the Gospel.
We've bought in to the idea that we can somehow persuade people to accept the Bible as truth by the power of our words.

We don't need to do that. The Gospel speaks for itself.

Paul says as much in 1 Corinthians 2:4 : "My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power."

See what I'm saying? This Gospel speaks for itself. The Spirit can speak for itself. It's not our job to try to convince people to accept it. It's not our job to argue with people and defend it when they disagree with it.

It is simply our job to know nothing but Jesus and Him crucified. We are to simply show that and let the Spirit do the rest.

In Acts 5, a man named Gamaliel stands up in a council that is debating over what to do with the apostles. The apostles will not stop healing people and preaching the message of Jesus.

Gamaliel says this: "Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. BUT IF IT IS FROM GOD, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God."

What is he saying here? He's saying that they should let this Gospel that the apostles are preaching speak for itself. It's very simple: if it's not from God, it will be proved as such. But if it is, it's unstoppable.

Why do we need to defend something that is already unstoppable........?

Our job is not to fight. We are simply to present and let the Spirit do the rest. Let people say what they want. The Gospel is still exploding all over the world.

So let's not try to convince people that they should believe. And let's not fight the people that don't. The apostles didn't. Why should we?

This Gospel speaks for itself.